My Abortion Experience

Yes, I've been down the path of abortion. It all took place around spring of '99. I was a conceited 26 year-old girl. Let's just say, when things got in my way, I pushed them out. I was living with my boyfriend, Jon. We rented a one bedroom house. I didn't go to college & I was working at a Conoco gas station, barely making enough money to live off of. & Jon didn't have a job, so I worked really hard. Jon was into heavy drugs & alcohol. I did a little drinking myself, smoked cigarettes, & pot. Well, about eight months into our relationship, I started getting sick with nausea & I thought that I might have the flu. But it didn't go away for a long time, so I went to the clinic & explained how I kept having flu like symptoms. He said something like, "It can't be the flu, because the flu doesn't last that long." & plus, flu season over, but that didn't occur to me. He started asking me a bunch of questions & finally, the pregnancy question popped up. I never thought about it & I doubted that it was that, but I took the test anyway & sure enough, I was pregnant! It was then that I realized I had skipped my period. I didn't even notice. Anyway, I thought "Okay. What in the heck are we going to do?!" I was so scared & dissapointed. I told Jon & we both felt so angry about it. Keeping the baby was out of the question. Not only were we barely making the rent & living, but I was selfish; I didn't even want to be a mom! I didn't care what was the best for the baby, I cared about what was best for me. I wanted to keep everything going the way it was going in the first place. That was really selfish of me. So then we started thinking of what to do. Our choices were abortion or adoption. I was nine weeks along & I didn't want to go through a whole nine months of pregnancy for adoption & plus, I didn't have the money for prenatal care. So we called up an abortion clinic, found out all about it & how much the fee would be & we barely had enough money, but it seemed perfect. I liked it & Jon liked it. So we decided abortion was our choice. I scheduled to get an abortion the next week. The week passed & it was finally the day of the abortion. When we arrived at the abortion clinic around 9:00 am [3/20/99], I wasn't nervous at all... until we got inside the clinic. It was so gloomy & it was freezing inside the waiting room & the people didn't have any facial expressions at all. I started to get really uncomfortable. But Jon held my hand & kept telling me, "It'll be okay." That's what kept me from leaving. I had to fill out a ton of papers, so I sat down next to this woman in the waiting room. She looked to be in her early 20's. After I was done filling them out, we started talking & she told me how this was her third abortion & she started crying. Then I thought about what she went through & felt so bad for her. I felt bad too, but that didn't change my mind. Finally, it was my turn. They had me put on this white hospital gown type of a thing. It was so uncomfortable. Next, they ran some blood tests on me. After all of that jazz was done, I went & laid down on the "bed" which seemed more like a rubber table with sheets. As I was directed by a nurse, I put my feet in these stirrup straps. The nurse was quite nice & smiled at me several times. She was much different from the doctor. He didn't pay much attention to me or talk to me. I think he just wanted to get it over with quick & go to lunch. Before I went under the general anesthesia, I just took a deep breath & relaxed. Before I knew it, it was over. I woke up in so much pain & then that's when it hit me. I was like, "Wow, it's gone. My baby's actually gone." I just was in so much shock & I started crying. About an hour after I changed & washed my face, they gave me a fruit bar & some milk. I felt so sick to my stomach that I didn't even want to eat. I went home totally miserable. Things didn't get easier like I'd expected them too: they got harder because of what I had done. Four weeks after the abortion, Jon & I broke up because of it. That was a good thing because if I was still with him, I don't know where I'd be now. God saved me. He has brought me to a better life. I now have a great husband, Rick, & a beautiful son, Chris. God gave me a second chance to make things right. Abortion is not the best way out. Abortion is an ever lasting haunting. It will affect you, one way or another. I have learned to forgive myself & find forgiveness with God, although I still grieve the loss of my baby. I thank him everyday for my experience with abortion & for the life I have now. It isn't killing my baby I thank him for... it's for making me see a different side of life. Praise God! :)

"When a woman has an abortion, she is taking away all of the adventure, beauty, and challenge of raising a child." Unkown

"While God's goal is that we share in His life and glory, Satan's goal is to destroy us and our children." (John 10:10)

Click here to go to the link page for pregnancy help.

Note: Also, if you'd like to use my story or any other information on my website on your website, please e mail me the link of your site & the purpose for you using it. I need to look at your website first to see if I approve of it. If you want to use it elsewhere, please tell me what you're using it on & why. So, please do not use my story/information with out permission. I apologize, I'm not trying to be rude. But I need to know where my personal information is being used & why. I've had bad experiences with people using my information before & do not want it to happen again. Click here to e mail me.

&, if you have had an abortion or are considering one, e mail me if you ever need to talk. I'm very understanding because I was there once, & I know exactly how it feels. Click here to e mail me.